Wouldn't Wish it on My Worst Enemies

I know I haven't posted in forever. I've been busy reading War and Peace. Yeah, it took me that long. It's like the never-ending story, only not as good. I truly do not recommend anyone read this book.

It did have it's good parts in the "Peace." There were some good dramatic, romance storylines. However they did go on too long. After the boy gets the girl (or the old man gets the girl in this case) no one wants to read about their domestic squabbles over him taking too many business trips or her spoiling the children. I guess if you cut 95% of this book, it could have been a pleasant read.

But, unfortunately, this story is mostly "War." In fact, most of the second half of the book is not a description of the war, but Tolstoy's philosophy of war. His thesis seemed to be that Napoleon nor any other man could not be blamed for the war, and the Russian commander-in-chief nor any other man could not be given the credit for victory. His main purpose in writing appeared to be to persuade his audience of predestination. Thus it became quite tedious. And tedious becomes almost deathly mind-numbing at 360 chapters. I am not kidding: 360 chapters!

So I highly recommend that you never read this book.

Best. Excuse. Evar.

Mrs. B: Stop talking.

Student: I wasn't talking. I was stretching my mouth.

Never End a Sentence with At.

This incorrect usage drives me crazy. To me "Where are you at?" sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. And it's getting worse.

You may remember an English teacher telling you never to end a sentence with a preposition. That is the general rule because a preposition needs an object, and the object should come after the preposition. However, "The door through which I walked..." sounds funny. So we just say "The door I walked through...." The object of through is door. It's still there, just in a different place.

"Where are you at?" on the other hand has no object at all. The only pronoun (no nouns) is you, but that is the subject. It is perfectly sufficient to simply say "Where are you?" The at is not necessary grammatically or semantically, because where identifies that this is a question of location.

I have been hearing people use the incorrect form with increasing frequency. I hear it all the time from students. I've heard it from teachers and newscasters. This Sunday, I even heard it from my pastor. I do not understand why this phrasing has become popular and seemingly acceptable. Many changes in language come about through laziness. For example, we no longer pronounce the k in knight. However, that cannot explain this phenomenon, because people are actually adding a word. Hopefully this indicates that the trend will not be long-lived.

Every April

I am not a fan of standardized testing in its current arrangement. There are many reasons that most teachers feel unfavorably about standardized tests, but I won't take too much of your time by describing them all now. However, I want to tell you of a reason why everyone else should oppose standardized tests: cheating.


I'm not talking about students cheating. Most students don't care enough about the tests to take the elaborate measures that would be necessary for them to cheat. Students are basically locked in a room, not allowed to leave until they finish, and then, only one at a time. There are up to fourteen different versions of the test with the questions and answers in varying order. And students are never to be left alone with any testing materials. Finding a way to cheat would probably be harder for them than the test.


Actually, it is the teachers you should be worried about. Every year, tens of thousands of teachers are forced into a situation where they have both the motive and the opportunity to cheat.


Despite the well-known truth that all teachers are perfect models of morality, judgement and citizenship; the situation into which they are placed may cause some to want to take less than completely honest actions. There is a lot riding on the scores of their students. For one, there is funding. Programs like No Child Left Behind withhold money from schools who don't perform well enough, the schools who need it the most. There are additional repurcussions for schools and ditricts who score too low. This year, California's Race to the Top program will require the fifty schools which showed the least gains to undergo radical changes such as terminating at least half of the teaching staff or even closing the school completely. There are also benefits to having high scores. In some districts, teachers are given bonuses for having very good or improved test results. So some teachers will do just about anything to get their scores up.


And teachers are given all of the opportunities for cheating that students are denied. No one but the students are there to watch the teachers during the test. Then, when the students leave, the teachers are often alone with the materials until they are returned for the day. There are many ways they could cheat, such as telling students information that will help them find the answer (e.g. "Sum means addition"), directly telling a student which answer to bubble in, or doing it him or herself after the students have finished.


I certainly do not advocate cheating; I write this to inform the general public as to what is probably happening. In fact, I am quite certain that it is happening. It has happened before. Both teachers and administrators have been caught cheating on standardized tests in Chicago, New York City and Oakland. So consider for yourself if you want your state to spend large amounts of money creating, producing, distributing and scoring test for which the results can and likely are being invalidated by cheating teachers.

Hey, Watch This!

One of the best things about teaching is the vacations. I have had the last three weeks off from work. So, I have been watching a lot of TV and movies lately. I have found three movies that I think every person who works in education needs to watch.

Happy Feet
One of the seemingly dozens of penguin movies that have come out recently and the best of the group. Aside from the obvious commentary on global conservation, this movie is about people with different abilities. After watching it, you will never think about a resource or special ed. student in the same way.

Stand and Deliver
Yes, this movie is quite old, but still totally relevant. It is all about how expectations can affect performance. When a group of poor, inner-city, Latino kids are given a chance to excel and supported by someone who believes in them, they do what no one else thought was possible.

Accepted
When this movie first came out, I didn't want to watch it, because I thought it would be another typical college movie about drinking. There certainly are scenes portraying alcohol consumption, but the film has more than that. It represents an outsiders view of American academic society. At the end, the main character makes a great speech about the true purposes of education.

If you have a different opinion of these movies that you want to share or other suggestions, please comment.

A Short Review

I have been reading short stories by Nathaniel Hawthorne. In college, I had to read My Kinsman Major Molineux and remeber it being quite graphic. About a month ago, I found a collection of his short stories in my classroom, inherited from a previous teacher. My first thought was "This can't be appropriate reading for Jr. High students." I decided to read some of the stories and see for myself.

I still think it isn't age appropriate, but I discovered that Hawthorne was actually a decent writer. His stories deal with some pretty dark themes (satanic worship, sick scientific experiments) and are pretty densely written. They are not light reading. But the characters are unique if not a little one-sided. The themes Hawthorne explores are more complex as are his plots.

In short, while I wouldn't recommend these stories to my students, I would recommend them for readers who are looking for an unusual perspective. Now I guess I have to read The Scarlet Letter.

Playing Hookie?

Everyone likes a day off of work once in a while. Teachers are allowed several sick days per year, depending on the district contract. You may think that we would take full advantage of this, especially considering how stressful our jobs can be.

But being absent is often more work than it's worth. Firstly, one needs to write out plans for the sub. Of course, teachers have lessons planned already, but usually it is just an outline of what they want to cover for that day. All the details are in their head, and it can take an hour or more to write them all out in a way that someone who is unfamilliar with the curriculum can follow.

Next is the preparation of the materials. If one knows ahead of time that they will be out on a particular day, they can take whatever time they need to prepare photocopies and set out textbooks and any other materials where the substitute can easily find them. However, if you wake up sick one morning, you may have to go in to work just to get everything ready. You may as well just stay there and save your sick day.

The most frustrating part of being absent is coming back. One can't be sure of what condition the classroom will be in, how much if any of the lesson plan was completed and what kind of note was left by the sub until returning the next day. I have returned after a substitute has covered my class to find things stolen, broken and vandalized. Recently, I found that my American flag at the front of my room had a large rip or cut in it. Most subs do attempt to follow the lesson plan, but many times they don't get it all accomplished. I have often found a note saying "...Then I let them work on homework with their friends." I wonder how much homework got done. So, the teacher ends up wasting the next day reteaching what should have been taught the day before, and the whole schedule is thrown off.

Sometimes it is neccesary to take a day off, like when attending a conference or jury duty. Other times, it's just nice, like after six weeks without holidays. But it is always a trade-off. The teacher has to decide if spending six hours away from the students is worth practically the same amount of time in preparing and recovery.